Strong emotional resilience is something that everyone should aim to build in themselves and their children, but how do we achieve it?
Experiences, circumstances and genetics all play a part in how we deal with challenging and difficult times. Sometimes we unintentionally create obstacles that prevent us from moving on with our lives or achieving goals. If we are aware there are walls in the way then we can be aware than we are limiting ourselves and can start work to improve our resilience to challenging thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
1. Listen to others but don’t let others make decisions for them.
It is important that we make our own decisions and then ‘own them’. Our ego is the brains way of protecting ourselves from other people’s harmful behaviour but sometimes there will be powerful forces from friends, family and the community to stick with what society deems the ‘norm’. It is important to keep our ego in check and surround ourselves with people who we trust and value so we can take actions that feel right to us.
2. Learn from their mistakes by taking a step outside of their comfort zone
Every person has fears, and successful people understand that fear is developed within the mind but it is our reactions that impact whether these fears grow or shrink. Resilience is built by moving out of our comfort zones so we face our fears head on, make our mistakes and learn from them. By overcoming challenging and difficult events, we can build skills that allow for personal growth and that people grow, thrive and succeed through adversity.
3. Focus on their strengths and don’t dwell on their weaknesses
Successful people self-analyse (a lot!) and understand their strengths and weaknesses. It is important that we do not dwell on the areas we are not great at but focus on mastering a certain skill set that will build their successes. By accepting that we all have weaknesses we understand that there is always a chance of failure but can embrace the 'fear of failure' with an understanding that there is always something to be gained as we move through life.
4. Don’t blame others for things outside of their control, they understand they are accountable for their actions
We are all susceptible to outside influences and it is generally within our nature to please others but that doesn’t mean they should have control over our actions. We need to take full responsibility for our lives and exert some influence over our choices and circumstances…there are always at least 2 options to any situation. It is the easy choice to blame others fro mistakes or bad decisions but there is no value in this and it is far more productive to learn from mistakes and focus on what you can control.
5. Understand the excitement is in the journey and not the final destinations
Successful people are not inpatient. It is a fact that most people don’t succeed because they aren’t good enough but because they become impatient and quit! Too many people focus on the destination and when they don’t reach that quick enough they give up! Happy people take excitement from the small things, the learning curves, not dwelling in the past but living in the present and not dreaming of the future.
6. Understand that the world owes them NOTHING, Nada, Zilch and zero to achieve their own successes
Change is a part of life that is inevitable and cannot be avoided…accepting this fact is the only way to understand that you cannot expect the world to stand still until you feel satisfied! Just as it is your job to take control on the decisions you make and the actions you take. Life is tough and by accepting these challenges you will appreciate the wins, however small. It is up to you to shape your circumstances and find what you are looking for.
7. Embraces change without fear but acts with intent
Building emotional resilience, especially to change, is hard….it takes practice and a fearless approach to life! By embracing the changes that are happening around you, with an open mind, life will reward you significantly. When we approach life with a closed mind we fail to spot the opportunities that could make a large impact on your life; maybe a new hobby, asking a new friend to tea or in my case a new business.
8. Understands that no one can do it alone, accepts help from others
Happy, resilient people are genuinely happy for other people and do not feel the need to compete or compare themselves. Greatness is said to be achieved through helping others, and whilst some people will only aim to look after themselves, this wont achieve greatness. To achieve greatness, you need to work with others to support their goals and I am 100% positive that your goals will take care of themselves! Any gaps in strength can be filled by working as a team and there is nothing more satisfying than seeing our own uniqueness support the weaknesses of others to achieve great and amazing things.
9. Communication is key
Communication is often mistaken as just talking but it is so much more than that…human relations are at their best when they understand and can be understood. Communication through language is a gift that other species don’t have; we are blessed with tone, pitch, body language and most of all words. Happy people understand the complexity of communication and try their best to be understood and have the patience to clear up misunderstandings so they can build strong, resilient networks.
10. Patient and has a true belief in themselves and their vision
Lastly, emotionally strong people believe in themselves or at least borrow someone else’s belief in them until they have true faith in their own abilities. They have a strong and emotionally connected vision about what they want out of life and have a laser like focus to work towards those end goals. Success comes from patience and complete and utter consistency, it is important to know what your daily habits are to keep you focused, emotionally strong and resilient to difficult and challenging times.
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